Author Paul Kalanithi’s words in When Breath Becomes Air belong to the rawest, most authentic side of the memoir spectrum. Diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer at age 36, his thriving neurosurgical career and blooming life as an individual abruptly shifted to a battle against mortality. Kalanithi’s autobiography is a descriptive portrait of such an arduous journey to find the beauty of life against the fading embers of another.
Paul Kalanithi was a man with great dreams and a big heart. Having studied English literature and medicine, Kalanithi lived passionately and showed his wholehearted dedication to any work to which he could contribute, from poetic celebration to the direct safeguarding of lives as a Yale-trained resident neurosurgeon. After the dismaying diagnosis, Kalanithi tried to document his journey as a way to find some sort of self-guidance and started working on his memoir When Breath Becomes Air. Published a mere 10 months after he departed from this world, Kalanithi’s story encapsulates the story of a courageous human being that moves the hearts of many.
“Denial → Anger → Bargaining → Depression → Acceptance”
Kalanithi’s two-year battle against cancer can be compressed into the five stages above. Initially, Kalanithi experienced great disbelief as his once highly assured career and stable life with his wife and anticipated children transformed into a surreal “fantasy,” in his own words. Subsequently, there were persistent efforts to revert to the pre-cancer trajectory. His contemplations retraced the words of renowned philosophers and the envisioned life, not only by him but also by others until the realization dawned that those dreams belonged to a time before a thread-hanging death penalty.
Within the labyrinth of Kalanithi’s contemplations, certain segments of the memoir may appear confounding and intensely introspective for some readers. Yet, this intricacy is emblematic of When Breath Becomes Air’s commitment to its primary memorial duty — truthfulness. The memoir, full of great resilience, commendable ethics, and unwavering determination, unfolds not merely as a chronicle of a dying man but as one enduring the agonizing throes imposed by mortality while persistently saving others. Despite continuously suffering from physical pain and exhaustion, Kalanithi endeavored to show up not only in operating rooms to perform surgeries but also in hospital rooms to provide solace to his patients. Kalanithi’s acknowledgment of his circumstance, coupled with his relentless pursuit of making the most of his dwindling energy, makes up a simultaneously heart-wrenching and empowering tale. It is only when a man confronts adversity that the true measure of his dignity is revealed. Kalanithi has indeed, according to his wife Cady’s epilogue, “look[ed] death in the eye” and “face[d] it with integrity.”
Cease Not ‘Til Death
The focal point of the autobiography extends beyond Kalanithi himself to recount the profound love and support he received, particularly from his family and beloved wife, Lucy. The couple’s decision to embrace parenthood amid Kalnithi’s challenging health conditions, while possibly being doubted by many, is heartily asserted by Kalanithi’s remark, “Life wasn’t about avoiding suffering.” While Kalanithi held deep concerns for Lucy and their child's future posthumously, Lucy’s epilogue unveils how the child embodies the remarkable hope and effort of Kalanithi and his family in their, not his own, battle against the illness. Their enduring appreciation for every moment alive emanates from immense courage and unconditional love, overshadowing apprehensions and concerns about the potential “what if.” It poses a towering testament to the courage inherent in the human experience — living amid the shadows of an uncertain future, would we dare to seize the fleeting moments of joy?
When Breath Becomes Air starkly challenges the oversimplification of life’s trajectory from birth to demise. It goes deep into the many nuances of living: losses, pains, elation, desperation, constant pondering, and hopes; all of which are powerful and universal for any human. Despite the narrative’s nature as a race against time, the story manages to provoke enduring and ever-puzzling existential questions: What is the essence of life? And how do we live fully, ever aware that death is an inevitable companion?
Book information
Title: When Breath Becomes Air
Author: Paul Kalanithi
Publisher: Random House
Publication Year: 2016
Pages: 228