Wednesday Martin’s life takes a drastic turn after moving to the Upper East Side, one of the most affluent neighborhoods in Manhattan. There, she faces a completely new society with its own distinctive ways of raising kids, socializing, and surviving. Having studied anthropology, Martin views the Upper East Side to be an unknown, mysterious tribe worthy of being closely investigated. While being a member of the top-elite society, she also keeps her distance as a social researcher who takes note of every experience and observation. Primates of Park Avenue is not just any typical memoir—it is also a very detailed fieldnote.
Wednesday Martin is a writer and social researcher with an academic background in anthropology and social research. After moving to the Upper East Side with her husband and son, she becomes part of an extremely exclusive, secretive, top-elite society. While first being appalled by the somewhat absurd and hostile nature of the Upper East Side community, she figures that studying anthropology has helped her “…stay sane and grounded as I made a place for [her] children and [herself] in a world that sometimes felt inhospitable.” Slowly but gradually, Martin assimilates into her new neighborhood as she uses her social researcher instincts to make critical observations and investigations of the Upper East Side. She shares her experiences of living and surviving in the area, as if providing an insider’s guide to an unknown, secretive world.
Mean Girl, Gossip Girl – Mommy Edition
Martin details that while childhood on the Upper East Side is “unusual,” motherhood is “beyond bizarre.” Mothers of the Upper East Side face extremely high standards for raising their children and managing their households. Not only are they expected to be beautiful, fit, and presentable at all times, but they also have to make sure their children go to the best nursery schools, arrange as many play dates as possible, and befriend other “influential” mothers in the neighborhood. Wednesday explains that being a mother in the Upper East Side is “a cutthroat, high-stakes career, stressful and anxiety-producing.”
Mothers of the Upper East Side are frequently referred to as the “Mean Girl Moms,” which accurately captures the essence of their nature. Just like high school, the mothers create different cliques which determine their social hierarchy within the community. They are hostile to newcomers or anyone who is deemed not beneficial. Martin shares her experience saying, “every day after dropping my son off at school, I cried,” simply because the other mothers were so mean to her. Although such memories must have been painful to recall, Martin manages to share her experiences in a relatively cool-headed manner tinted with humor and passive-aggressiveness. Her detailed descriptions allow readers to take a close look at the life of an Upper East Side mother.
Fieldnotes
A unique aspect of Primates of Park Avenue is how Martin actively incorporates her background into her narrative, as though the book is not a personal memoir but instead a scientific study. In fact, some chapters are titled “Fieldnotes” in which Martin writes about her observations in the form of actual fieldnotes. Furthermore, she frequently compares herself and the other Upper East Side mothers to primates using studies in primatology to explain their behavior. For instance, as she struggles to fit in to the new community, she compares her situation to a “new female transferring to a baboon troop” wishing to be a “howler monkey” instead. To the eyes of a social researcher, the Upper East Side is as alien and exotic as a tribe that is unknown to the rest of the world.
Martin’s unique narrative adds witty humor to her book as there are not many memoirs that take an anthropological approach in sharing personal experiences. Moreover, Martin’s social researcher moments also provide critical analyses in a fairly objective and formal manner. Her fieldnotes and other anthropological explanations are written in great detail, assisting the reader to gain a better understanding of the multiple facets of the community she has inhabited.
Insightful Messages
Rather than exclusively focusing on what the “Upper East mommies” are like, Martin also provides analyses on the complexities of “motherhood” itself and the significance it holds. Her explanation on what makes motherhood so special and unique compared to any other period gives room to think about a critical aspect of humanity that is often taken for granted.
Additionally, she raises awareness on the toxic traits of a seemingly perfect, glamorous society. Although those who live in the Upper East Side are frequently revered by others who long to have prosperity, many are not aware of its darker sides. Many Upper East Side mothers must deal with mental health issues caused by the stressful, overly competitive environment, along with facing gender segregation and discrepancy in a greatly patriarchal society. Furthermore, the Upper East Side community also has some parts in common with South Korean society as well. The overly competitive, peer-pressured nature can be easily experienced in some of the most affluent areas of Korea as mothers struggle to meet high standards—especially with their kids’ academic performance.
While the book initially appears to be making fun of the members of a ridiculously rich elite society, it also delves into the complexity of the Upper East Side in a societal, anthropological perspective. Although the book is about a rich American town, certain parts of its analyses can also be easily applied to any different top-elite communities. Likewise, anyone who has experienced moving into a completely new environment and struggled to adapt can resonate with Wednesday’s story of constantly seeking a sense of belonging. With its brilliant storytelling and meticulously humorous stories, Primates of Park Avenue invites the readers to a pleasant tour around the streets of the Upper East Side.
Book Information
Title: Primates of Park Avenue: A Memoir
Author: Wednesday Martin
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Publication Year: 2015
Pages: 272