Speaking of diversity as an international student is interesting. I have, at the same time, entered an environment much more diverse than what I’d be experiencing had I stayed in my hometown for university, while also bringing more diversity to KU with my presence. I am, simultaneously, a spectator of as well as a contributor to diversity. So, when we speak of embracing diversity, am I the one doing the embracing? Or am I the one being embraced? How do I navigate this concept that is so vague yet so tangible?
Quickly after coming to Korea, I became scared. Scared that I will try to embrace this newfound diversity but that I won’t feel embraced by the Korean students in return. Scared of the embarrassment of rejection. The fact is that I am still a minority here, and no matter how you look at it, that’s intimidating. Especially for someone who is experiencing this dynamic for the first time - I didn’t know how to cope with feeling and looking so different from everyone else.
For the longest time, the first year or so of my life at KU, I had a really hard time fitting in, feeling like I belonged to my major, making friends and not feeling like an imposter every time I visited the Engineering building. Eventually, it became easier to find excuses than to fix this situation. “Oh, it’s because of COVID-19, I never got to meet my classmates in person,” “They’re probably too shy to speak English with me,” and “It's okay, I have many international friends, I don’t necessarily need to get close with them, either” became my mantra when I was asked about it. Soon, I noticed that I was just as scared of them, as I assumed they, too, were scared of me, and jealous of my other international friends who seemed to get along with the Korean students better. But, deep down, I did feel the need to have people say hi to me before class, to be invited to eat dinner together, to feel not only tolerated, but accepted. To be embraced. Yet, at the same time, I was also the one who didn’t approach them as I was too shy to talk to them in Korean and kept telling myself that it’s fine as it is. I was so busy feeling different that I isolated myself from them before they could reject me, so busy being stuck in my own head that I didn’t realize that they never gave me a reason to be scared.
My mom says that I shouldn’t deprive people of the opportunity to prove me wrong. I suppose she’s right, as usual. Not everyone will, of course, but surely the world is less bleak than what our insecure brain makes us believe. You have to let yourself be embraced to be embraced. Facile à dire, as my professor would say, but it is true. Once you let go of those fears and give people a chance to show you instead of assuming you already know, you quickly figure out that people are generally super nice and all looking for human connection. More often than not they’re relieved if you say something first and break the awkwardness. They are likely thinking of how to do the same thing. The world is full of people too scared to talk to each other, too anxious to make the first move. But once you embrace your differences and those of the people around you, they are just as fast to embrace you back as you are. Someone just has to break the standstill. Don’t wait.
About the Author
Maja is from Slovenia, and she is a junior at the Department of Architecture in Korea University.