There are many things in life that I don't believe in. Horoscopes, ghosts, the idea that the moon landing was faked. The list goes on. But one of my core beliefs that has helped me deal with all of life's ups and downs is that you shouldn't regret your decisions. We all make mistakes. It’s unavoidable. What you think is the right thing to do might just be the worst plan anyone has ever come up with. Or it might turn out to be exactly what you needed. You won’t know unless you commit to it and come out of the experience unharmed, wiser, or something in between.
"But if only I had known better…" But you didn't. You didn't know better because you couldn't. No one makes bad decisions on purpose. No one just wakes up one day and says: "You know what, I think I'm gonna make some mistakes today." No. Every decision you make is based on the information you have about the situation and your feelings about it. When you decide to do or not do something, it's what the you in that moment, with the knowledge you had, judged to be the best course of action. Even if spontaneous or a little stupid, you make the decision that you’d rather regret the consequences than not trying at all. Or maybe you panicked and made some wrong calls, because your brain blanked on you. Maybe it was dangerous to do what you wanted to or maybe it was just easier not to and wait for the situation to resolve itself. It’s easy for other people to discuss what a better, smarter way to go would have been, how you should have reacted, what you should have done. Maybe you’re like me and you tell these things to yourself. After the situation has played out and you know just what you did wrong, of course. It’s so hard to get out of your own head sometimes. So hard not to blame, not to regret.
That is why I hold this belief so dear to my heart. I believe in not regretting my past because I trust that I’m keeping my interests in mind when making decisions. I trust that I know myself better than anyone and I trust that, while not everyone in that situation would have reacted the same way, I would act the same if presented with the same scenario again. I trust that I know best. Of course I, too, like anyone, have made decisions I’m not proud of, have messed up and wished I had known how to handle situations better. But I would be lying if I said I’d do things differently the second time around. Chances are I’d do my best with the information and experience I had in the moment, which, you know, is what I did.
The way I see it, you have a choice about how you want to remember events in your life. You can either regret them and feel guilt and resentment every time the memories come up, or you can embrace them as a part of your journey and character development arc. You can either hate even being reminded of those moments, or you can own them and keep them as a learning experience so that you do know better next time. I know that I’d trust someone who has made mistakes but learned from them over someone who has seemingly always made perfect decisions in a heartbeat. So I try to give the same respect to myself. And you should, too. After all, you know best.
About the Author
Maja is from Slovenia, and she is a junior at the Department of Architecture of Korea University.