Honesty is a rare dime in our current century, and you know what is even rarer? It is the inner peace and acceptance of one’s self... and you might be wondering what this has to do with me being an international student living in Korea for almost four years. Well, let’s start off by the fact that if you heard that the next phase after high school life is called “college life,” that is a BIG FAT LIE! Those years weren’t my college life; those were my early twenties, and this was my life running in front of me. When it comes to such a big step of pursuing this phase abroad in such a fast-pacing country, people think that success is all that defined me throughout those years.

However, as a senior, do you know what defined this journey for me? FAILURE did! Comparing reality to expectations, I embrace myself to, yet again, emphasize three words that lightened that path: failure, self-acceptance, and honesty. When it came to expectations, being a scientist all I craved was knowledge, science, and the sheer experience of it. Being the optimist I am, all I had in mind was successful me rocking the campus and adapting to any life hacks or habits, for I would be a liar if I said I came over for K-pop and the Korean culture. Nope! I came over because Korea offered me an opportunity with wide- open arms telling me, “Just come over to study and enjoy yourself.” But did it turn out that way?

Well, I am telling you this: expectations will always be temptations and temptations are mostly always not good for your manipulative and addictive mind; as it happened for me it turned out I discovered failure. When it actually came to adapting to the lifestyle here, that wasn’t a problem nor a failure, at all, because of the convenient life that Korea offers. But when it comes to the whole mixed journey as a foreign student living and part-timing here, despite having seniors, that is when you get a different taste of the country other than that of an exchange student and even through different universities. So, as much as I excelled and enjoyed my personal life, the dysfunctionality that suddenly happened during that journey not only hit me, but it surprised me to be in class and to hear other foreigners discussing how they used to be better in their countries. So yes! A country not speaking English didn’t flash through my mind... A college with not so many guiders for foreigners didn’t flash through my mind... A society said to be competitive didn’t flash through my mind and a lack of diversity didn’t flash through my mind, but you know what? This has nothing to do with the beauty of failure I have achieved. You wonder how it is a beauty?

John Greenleaf the poet once said, “Success is failure turned inside out.” And there is another famous saying that goes, “Sticks and stones don’t break your bones.” But they actually do, along with heartaches, anxiety, stress, losing confidence in yourself, and facing obstacles of your own. Nonetheless, what is beautiful here is how your spine stiffens and strengthens as the blows keep coming because no matter how you imagine success as smooth as butter, life doesn’t work that way. Deny it all you want; I owe it to this country for unlocking that inner box of spirit inside of me. So, failing or succeeding, I accept both as long as I keep learning, as long as I am out of my comfort zone, and as long as I am accepting all of myself because I have a general principle: no regrets. Whatever happens, happens, and eventually, it will turn out okay. Forgiveness. Acceptance. And so, thank you for giving me a new me.

Yours sincerely,

Your early twenties

About the Author

Salma is from Egypt, and she is a senior at Korea University who majors in biotechnology.