▲ Byun Bo-Kyung (bokyungbyun@korea.ac.kr) Senior Reporter, The Granite Tower (GT)
Meg Jay’s TED talk “Why 30 is Not the New 20” turned out to be a sweeping success. The famous adult developmental psychologist’s talk garnered nearly 600,000 views and hundreds of comments on the TED online site alone within a few days after it was broadcast. She also certainly does make some very noteworthy points about how youth in their 20s should plan out and live their lives more wisely; but perhaps she is just pushing our buttons a little bit too far—especially the panic one.

“Twenty-somethings are like airplanes just leaving LAX, bound for somewhere west. Right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the difference between landing in Alaska or Fiji,” says Jay. In other words, just because marriage, work and kids happen later in one’s thirties does not mean one’s twenties are merely a throwaway period. Youth in their twenties should take more control of their lives, make decisions and take action toward establishing their future career and family, to live out happier lives for the coming decades.

Though I’m sure the lady with the soft voice and smiling eyes probably meant well, the first feeling I had after listening to her talk was extreme anxiety. There she was, talking about how the dreams people have during their twenties have an exponential impact on their choice of future career, and here I was, with no clearer idea of what I wanted to with my life than I had when in high school. She talked of how who twenty-somethings choose to date greatly impact their future marriage partner, and I listened on dumbfounded, utterly and completely single, when I should be getting ready to have babies with my yet-to-be-found husband. I felt like a failure. I resorted to poking holes in her logic to make myself feel better.

She seeks to move her audience, for instance, with “statistics” that admittedly seem plausible at first but are actually not so objective at all. “We know that 80 percent of life’s most defining moments take place before age 35,” Jay says solemnly. According to who, though? And by what standard can “defining moments" be counted? Whether consciously or not, by using “statistics” such as these Jay comes off as trying to glorify the 20s as our last chance to achieve the life of our dreams.

The main problem with Jay’s TED Talk lies not in her tendency to spin certain “statistics” to her advantage; it lies in the fact that she pressures youth that they should live more deliberately, while failing to provide reassurance that personal development does not simply stop at 30; it is more a matter of the sooner, the better.

Though Jay’s defenders might argue that everything was implied in her talk, implication alone is not enough. Her message, though definitely a good wakeup call for twenty-somethings flipping patties at McDonald's with no further career plans, does more harm than good without clear reassurance. It sets off an alarm in the minds of many a type-A person—a.k.a. me—imposing a false sense of urgency to establish both professional and personal lives as soon as possible.

The truth is, however, that your 20s are the best time you will have in your life for exploration. People will want to help you because you are young, and yet you are old enough to deal with responsibility. You can take risks more freely, because you do not have kids to take care of, or mortgages to pay off. Best of all is, even if you fail, you have time to pick yourself up and get back in the game.

So in the end, yes, your 30s are not your new 20s, but that does not mean you should live your 20s like your 30s. Do something crazy once in a while and enjoy life. Just do not go too overboard—or else you might end up in Jay’s counseling office with her giving you a stern I-told-you-so stare.

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